My Love For You
by KarieLuisaSaja
Summary: He was the quiet blacksmith. She was the brave nurse. At first, everything seemed to be going for Saibara and Ellen. But with one swift motion, everything changed. What happened between them that left them torn apart? [Oneshot] Mild swearing


_A/N: Hey everybody! I promised to update this weekend in my profile, so here it is! I was listening to the song "My World" by SR-71, and it gave me a really good idea. Hopefully, I wrote well enough to convey the feeling to you, my wonderful readers (bows). Thank you for reading, and please R&R!_

_KLS, aka Tezuka Ace_

The rain was pouring down again- It was the second day in a row that Mineral Town had experienced crummy weather. There hadn't been a break in the ceaseless rain yet, and though it was in the dead heat of Summer, and the rain was needed, even the plants seemed to be tired of it. Jay, the farmer at the old ranch, had even said so. With the rain, however, even the heat of Summer was extinguished.

Saibara shivered, though his small shop was warm. It truly was a small shop- the tools were all crammed behind the counter. Gray, Saibara's no-good grandson, sat lazily in a chair, staring off into space, presumably thinking about Mary, the town librarian. _That's all he does these days- Think about that girl._ Saibara grunted. _He shouldn't waste his time._

A grandfather clock in Saibara's bedroom, which was in the room next to the small shop area, struck one, and Gray stood up uneasily. _What a worthless boy. He works only a half day, and even when he's here he barely gets any work done._

"I'll see you later." Gray said roughly, adjusting his blue baseball hat. When he stood up, Gray had this false aura of power surrounding him. He seemed to be a tough boy. Though the boy could pretend all he wanted to be tough, he worked in a blacksmith's, after all, he was quite the softie at heart, hence his feelings for the shy, quiet librarian. It was what Saibara detested most about his grandson- the fact that he was still so innocent, albeit his age. He would be turning seventeen on Winter 6th, and though the marriage age was sixteen in Mineral Town, he had shown little interest in the fact until he had fallen for the librarian. _At seventeen…Where was I then? It was after everything that happened with Ellen…_

Forsaken memories threatened to overtake the seemingly uncaring old man. He could almost feel tears brimming in his eyes, but he quickly brushed them away, cleverly disguising it as a sneeze.

He grunted a reply to Gray, who left without truly listening. Bitterness filled the old man, for more than one reason. _I wish that lazy boy would get his act together. I can't work here forever. Instead, he wastes all his time with that damned librarian! Doesn't he know what love like that will bring him? It will accomplish nothing!_

Even though Saibara was naturally fierce, had he voiced these thoughts, he had a feeling he would have frightened even the Mineral Town residents, who were by far used to his fierceness.

As usual, no customers came that day. Few people ever showed up anyways, besides the farmers themselves, and the constant downpour kept even them at bay, inside their warm cozy houses with their loving families.

Saibara slammed his fist on the desk in front of him, rattling the few belongings on it. But, as he heard the rain pattering repetitively on the roof, his anger was replaced with a far more painful feeling- regret.

He let out a long sigh. _I was so foolish. _Gray was heading down the same path, and yet, no matter how Saibara wanted to word his warning to the boy, the words seem to catch in his throat and die there. He hadn't been able to warn his own son in time, and he had been forced to place his son in the same painful position Saibara himself had been in at the same age.

The rain continued to pour down, and Saibara was suddenly struck with an idea. _I should go visit Ellen… for old times' sake._ Saibara stood up, but his own easiness made him return to the chair almost as quickly. _But I can't go empty-handed. What could I bring?_

His eyes fell upon the empty dish on the desk. His plan was to make himself lunch as soon as Gray left. Instead, Saibara found himself in his small kitchen, preparing what he hoped would at least be a mediocre meal. Last time he had visited her, she had given him a lunch, and he had to return the favor.

A while later, Saibara hoped the fruits of his labor were obvious. Before him sat the same dish, but this time, it had scrambled spa-boiled eggs, a treat Saibara had been saving for himself, with a side dish of diced carrots. Though it was small, it consisted of the foods Ellen loved the most.

Almost shocked by his own courage, Saibara bagged the meal and ventured outside into the pouring rain. Wearing a light jacket, Saibara made his way directly to Ellen's house, trying not to think as the memories he had suppressed years ago tried to overtake him once again.

When he reached Ellen's small house, Saibara froze outside of the door. What was he doing here? Why was he bothering? Ellen had turned out happy without him… What right did he have to intrude upon her happiness, even if her husband was now long dead?

Saibara turned on his heel and nearly marched home. _What a foolish idea._

"Hey Saibara!" It was Elli, Ellen's granddaughter. She was a beautiful girl, the splitting image of Ellen in her prime. Ellen's daughter had been the same way. A sharp pain shot through his chest. "How are you?" Elli paused a moment, holding her umbrella over her head. Without waiting for a reply from the elder man, she continued. "I was just heading out. Maybe you should visit with my grandma? She's been awfully lonely lately." Elli remarked, a frown crossing her otherwise perfect features.

Saibara sighed. He was trapped. There was no way he could refuse such an offer, especially because Elli reminded him so much of Ellen. "Alright." He stated curtly, and Elli waved as she walked off and Saibara knocked to let himself in.

The house was somewhat dark and dusty. It didn't suit Ellen at all. The worst of it all, was how decrepit Ellen looked sitting feebly in her rocking chair, knitting. _What has time done to her?_

"Saibara," There was a shocked tone in her voice. "How lovely to see you," She remarked, age cracking her voice. She coughed, sounding more feeble and weak than ever. _What happened to the daredevil Ellen? What happened to you?_

"Ellen," Saibara began, unsure of his purpose in coming. He had wanted to see Ellen, to see some reminder of the woman he had loved so dearly, but she wasn't there. All he could see was the old woman, and his memories. "I brought you some lunch." He said, his voice sounding his discomfort.

"Oh, that was so sweet of you!" She cried. "It smells delicious." Though she played her part well, even sniffing the air excitedly, it was a lie, and Saibara knew it. Along with Ellen's ability to walk, her eyes, ears, and nose were beginning to fail her. Had he not said anything about the oddly shaped bundle in his arms, she wouldn't have noticed at all.

_There's not a trace of her left in this old woman._

"Take your coat off; stay awhile." Ellen invited warmly. She even sounded like a grandmother now. The Ellen that Saibara had known and loved would have grabbed his arm and dragged him outside, down to the pond, where they always hung out. The old Ellen would have rather committed suicide than sit down and talk, and that was saying something considering how much Ellen loved life.

"No, no I really mustn't. I have to get back to my shop." Saibara grunted. "I just wanted to stop in." He continued, flustered. He felt like ten kinds of an idiot, visiting her now. How could she know what had happened to him after she went and married _him_?

A small smile crossed Ellen's face. "Thank you, Saibara. I appreciate your company, no matter how short it may be." The way she said this made Saibara wonder if she was trying to make a joke. Had Ellen not been so old, she could have phrased her joke better and maybe made Saibara laugh warmly, for the first time in so many years. Instead, it left him feeling colder than ever.

"I'll leave the food on the counter for you." He said roughly.

"I'll see you later, Saibara." She called after his retreating back. He didn't reply.

At first, he thought he was okay. However, as soon as he stepped outside, a wave of pain and tears he hadn't seen coming overwhelmed him.

How could this have happened? How could it have happened at all, let alone to them? Time had ripped them away from each other, and for all these years Saibara had led himself to believe that Ellen's father had made this decision for her, but he was no longer sure. Seeing this old, decrepit side of Ellen made him wonder how many other sides there were of her that he had never seen… That only her husband had seen!

The pain that washed over him receded with the tide, and Saibara found himself taking the familiar path to the Inn. It was too early to buy a drink yet, but just being away from that god-forsaken blacksmith's shop and out of the stinging rain would be enough for him.

Since it was just after the lunch rush, the Inn was quiet. Doug had retreated to the backroom, leaving Ann to man the store. She looked up brightly as Saibara entered.

"Nice to see you Saibara! Welcome to the Inn!" She called, waving to him. Saibara grunted. He had no words to say right now- not to Ann, not to anybody. "Do you want anything to eat?"

"No," Saibara returned coldly, and Ann fell silent, and returned to sweeping the floor with an old broom. Saibara chose a corner table facing the wall.

He let out a long sigh. Where did all of this pain begin? How could this have happened? _Don't lie to yourself._ A voice in his mind chided. _You know what happened._ Saibara sighed again, and felt tears brim in his usually fierce eyes.

_Yes, I do…Of course I do._

_It was bound to happen, right? He was the quiet blacksmith's boy who had just come from across the ocean with his father and mother. His father was a large burly man, someone whose bad side no one ever wanted to see. His mother was meek but beautiful, and she never spoke against her husband. Even to the villagers, it was obvious right from the start that it was an arranged marriage. Not that that made any difference, of course, because all marriages were arranged, even in Mineral Town._

_She was the spunky, outgoing daughter of the famous doctor who worked at the Clinic. She had a beautiful smile, and she was sweet even to him, something Saibara wasn't used to. Like the other villagers, she had come out to see the boat with the new arrivals. Whether or not she was disappointed by the scrawny fifteen-year-old boy who came off the boat she never said._

"_I'm Ellen." She announced. She wore a long, fancy dress that Saibara assumed she would have worn to an extremely formal dinner party, not to the Beach. Ellen had long brown hair and beautiful eyes that, to Saibara at least, seemed to change colors depending on what she wore. Today, the blue dress made her eyes look a peaceful sky blue._

"_Saibara," He returned cautiously._

"_Why don't I show you around town?" Without waiting for his reply, Ellen dragged him away from the crowded Beach, and into the nearly town._

It had been the start of a beautiful friendship. At first, Saibara wouldn't get too close to Ellen, as his greatest fear was being rejected socially by her. Instead, the two ended up being fast friends, a terrific outcome by anyone's standards. But, with all wonderful things, it couldn't last.

_Everything changed when one day, by the Goddess Pond, Saibara realized he had fallen head-over-heels for the girl who had been so kind to him. She was different than the other girls. While the other women were learning sewing and cooking, Ellen played rough with the boys, including the ranch owner's son, Jack, who was a few years older and suspiciously not married. He would grow up to meet Jay, the current farmer, and eventually give him the land in his will._

_Ellen even went as far as to wear boy's clothes under her dress. She would buy the clothes off of Jack, and then wear them under her dress while her parents were around. As soon as she was out of view, Ellen would tear the dress off and run around in her boys' clothes._

_She was quite the dare-devil, too. When she and Saibara were together at the Goddess' Pond, she would jump across the rocks near the waterfall. Thought Saibara feared that she would fall, nothing bad ever happened to her there. _

So what could the problem have been? There really weren't any other eligible men in Mineral Town, and Ellen had taken quite the liking to Saibara. Where had their relationship gone wrong?

_Saibara had just turned seventeen when events took a turn for the worse. He had bought a Blue Feather, which he kept in his pocket for when he could work up the courage to propose to her. Though it wasn't official, he and Ellen were basically dating. One of Saibara's most treasured memories was of their first kiss, about a season before he bought the feather._

_It was by the Goddess Pond that he made his move. Ellen had been playing on the rocks again, and when she crossed back over, since she was about to leave, Saibara stopped her._

"_Ellen, I-I have to talk to you." He stammered, his face turning all shades of red._

"_What?" She asked innocently, stopping short. She watched him fiddle around in his pocket for a moment, his breathing sharp. She gasped when he pulled it out. "Oh my goddess…!" There was an uncharacteristic shock in her voice as the words dropped from her mouth._

"_Ellen, will you, um, you know, well, marry me?" The words were caught in his throat for the slightest of moments, a feeling Saibara would get to know painfully well all too soon._

_She began to cry. Ellen, the strongest girl ever, was reduced to tears in his arms. "Yes," She whispered forcefully. "Yes, I will." It was then that Saibara thought he might cry too, for the same reason. He had been so afraid of rejection, yet it had all turned out well in the end!_

Pain clouded Saibara's mind, and for a moment, he thought that his own memories would kill him. It hurt so much to revive the memories… How many times had he cried himself to sleep before he realized that people did nothing more than hurt each other? Letting out a long sigh for the thousandth time that day, Saibara remained quiet, listening to the rain pattering on the roof a floor above him. _The rain…_

The rain brought another wave of pain onto him, and another agonizing memory to accompany it.

_For the first time in his life, Saibara went home, and was so overjoyed that he didn't care when his father nearly beat him, as he did often. He was getting _married_! What could upset his terrific mood?_

_Ellen._

_The next day, after living the most wonderful afternoon of his life, Ellen came running at him. She had a huge red mark on her face. Saibara could immediately tell that something was wrong. His first hint had been that she was nearly an hour late, and they always met at eight A.M. at the Goddess Pond. Now, she was crying._

"_What's wrong?" Saibara cried, jumping up. He would fight for her, no matter what the situation. She collapsed into his arms, sobbing hysterically. "What's that on your face?"_

"_I-I slept on it funny." It was the first time that Ellen had ever lied to him, and he could easily see through her lie. However, he let it go, as to avoid upsetting his fiancée even more._

"_What's wrong? What's wrong?" Saibara prompted again, stroking her hair._

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She said, looking up at him, her eyes full of pain. "My father, I told him I was getting engaged to you… and he… and he…" She burst into another wave of tears, and Saibara held her in a strong hug._

"_Go on…" He said, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears. Somehow, in his heart, he knew what she was about to do._

"_My daddy told me that I couldn't marry a low-class working boy!" She cried. The words dropped from her mouth and hung in the air. An icy silence enveloped them, as Saibara's heart and mind tried to interpret what she had just said._

"_I'm so sorry! He told me that it's been arranged so that I marry the new doctor's son." A new doctor had come to Mineral Town a few seasons ago, it must have been nearly a year now, and he had a son who wasn't much older than Ellen and Saibara. However, though he was a doctor-in-training, Ellen spent as little time as possible in the Clinic. She was now a nurse there, though she tried to spend most of her time with Saibara._

_Wiping her eyes, Ellen continued. "I have to go back to the Clinic now… I'm so sorry Saibara." She told him, averting her eyes. She began to leave, walking briskly._

"_Ellen, wait!" He called, and she stopped. The pained look in her eyes made Saibara wonder how far she would go so they could be together. "I'll think of a way out of this Ellen, I promise."_

"_The wedding's on next Tuesday." She replied, and she walked away. That gave Saibara a week to come up with a new plan._

_It wasn't until she left that Saibara noticed she wasn't wearing her boys' clothes- she was wearing a dress._

Looking back, Saibara wished he could have run away. If only he had proposed sooner, before the doctor came to town. If only he had tried harder, he could have whisked Ellen away then, gotten on a boat, and never looked back. If only… If only…

_Saibara tried everything he thought of. He tried confronting Ellen's parents, who threw him out of the house, accompanied by a stream of her father's curses. He tried convincing his own parents to borrow money from a rich friend of Saibara's, just to impress Ellen's parents, but his own father refused to ask for charity. He tried confronting Ellen's new husband-to-be, but he had told him, "Why would Ellen want to marry a hot-headed asshole like you?" Saibara had nearly gotten into a fight with the man that day._

_It was the day before the wedding, and Saibara was out of ideas. His optimism about finding a way out of this situation was dwindling away, replaced by a feeling of pessimism that all was lost. The wedding was to take place at noon the next day._

I love her so much!_ Saibara thought, tears clouding his eyes that night as he slept in the Inn. There wasn't enough room to house Saibara at the Blacksmith's, so he stayed at the Inn. _I have to think of something!

_That night, Saibara was plagued by dreams of taking Ellen away on a steamboat and crossing the ocean. She wore her wedding dress, and it shone brilliantly in the sun, and she willingly ran from her house with him to the Beach. Somehow, they weren't pursued. Saibara had showed up at ten o'clock to say his goodbyes through her window, and she left with him, willing to be disowned by her family instead of being forced to wed a man she didn't love._

_Saibara awoke the next morning with hope beating in his chest. _Maybe there is still hope! _Hopeful thoughts filled his mind, and at ten o'clock, he found himself at the back of the house, drenched by the pouring rain, by the window in the bathroom. _

_Ellen was sitting on her bed, dolled up in a magnificent pearly-white dress. _When we leave,_ Saibara thought, _I'll have her wear that to our wedding._ Knocking impatiently at the window, Ellen heard and came running. Without bothering to close the bathroom door, she flung open the window._

"_Saibara," She breathed. There was no shock in her voice. He smiled._

"_Let's go. I won't let you marry that pig-headed doctor." Saibara told her, motioning for her to climb out the window._

_Ellen gave him an apologetic smile. "Saibara… I can't. I really can't."_

"_Of course you can. I'm taking you away. We're leaving together, Ellen. I can't bear to watch you throw yourself away to that… man." Saibara spat on the ground. "I told you I'd find a way out."_

"_Saibara-"_

"_Ellen," Saibara began, but Ellen cut him off._

"_I CAN'T!" She screamed. "I can't leave with you!"_

"_Wh-what?" Saibara stammered, suddenly feeling like the quiet blacksmith who had just arrived in Mineral Town. All of the confidence he had gained in the last year was shattered with her words._

"_Saibara," She continued gently. "I can't just abandon my family. I have a sick older brother. You know how much I care about him."_

"_Well, you-you could just write him a letter." Saibara replied. With each syllable that dropped from his beloved's mouth, he was losing her. The rain that soaked him was washing away her love for him._

"_I'm sorry Saibara."_

"_Your family's the one who did this in the first place! How can you still be _loyal_ to them?" Saibara cried, outraged. How could she do this to him? "You'd rather marry a fool and stay with your family than be with me? Is that all I mean to you?"_

_Ellen repeated the same three words. "I'm sorry Saibara."_

"_No, no you're not sorry!" Saibara was never one to lose his temper, yet it was happening now. "You told me you loved me, that you would marry me!"_

"_We never took vows." The way Ellen spoke didn't reflect the seriousness of the matter. Her tone was one that would be used to discuss the weather._

"_We were going to! Your father wouldn't let us!"_

"_My father hit me! He abused me because of you! I bet you didn't know that." Ellen yelled. "My whole family wanted to disown me because of you. I don't ever want to be alone, Saibara."_

"_You wouldn't be alone; I'd be with you." Saibara pointed out._

_There was coldness in Ellen's expression. "No, Saibara, I'm staying here." The hardness in her voice faded away, and she looked remorseful. "I'm sorry Saibara. I can't abandon everything here that I love. I just can't do it."_

"_Ellen…" Saibara saw her courage shining through again. She was standing up for what she believed in, but why did it have to be this…?_

"_I'm sorry Saibara." She repeated for the millionth time. "I really am."_

"_Ellen…"_

"_You're not going to change my mind." She told him stubbornly._

"_Ellen…" Saibara felt his heart breaking. "I love you." He muttered. It was one of the first times he let his feelings escape him in the form of words, and it would be one of the last. A remorseful smile crossed Ellen's face._

"_I love you too." She leaned down, out of the window, the rain pattering down on her head and shoulders, and kissed him passionately. Saibara wished it would last forever. Where would things go from here?_

"_Goodbye, Saibara…" With these parting words, Ellen left the window, closing it tightly, and left._

_It took a moment for Saibara to realize exactly what had just happened. It took another moment for the tears to overwhelm him. They blended in with the rain, falling from his face and onto the muddy ground._

_He didn't go to the wedding. He couldn't bear to his beloved give herself away to that man, not now, not ever. Not only had Ellen broken his heart, but she had broken his spirit as well. Saibara no longer cared what happened._

_In his mind, he had secretly hoped that Ellen would search him out and tell him to take her away, that she was sick of the man she had been forced to wed. In his heart, however, Saibara knew that that would never happen._

_For seasons, Saibara had wondered what the point of living was. What was there left for him? Becoming a blacksmith held no special place within him, and he detested his own family. What was there for him?_

_Within the next two years, Saibara's father married him off to a young woman. She was Barley's long-lost cousin, or something equally as bizarre, and she had fallen in love with him. Seeing that Saibara would never put any effort into a relationship of his own, the marriage was arranged by their parents._

_Ellen somehow found the courage to come to his wedding and she smiled gently at him. He looked away, unable to fathom why she wouldn't abandon her family. She wished him congratulations, but her husband took her home with him early, saying that it would do their unborn child no good if she tired herself out. He patted her stomach encouragingly, and they had left._

_It was at that moment that Saibara realized that he and Ellen were destined to die far away from each other, and that Saibara was destined to be alone all of his life._

Now, Saibara knew why Ellen wouldn't leave. In that week between when Ellen broke the terrible news to him and the wedding, her husband-to-be had wooed her, and won her over. She was in love with that damned man. There hadn't been even a trace of a tear on her face on the day of the wedding.

Had she been in love with him all along?

_No_. Saibara refused to believe that anyone could put on an act so well, to pretend she loved him and accept his proposal, only to break his heart the next day.

Saibara had always wanted to believe the best in Ellen, that she really had too many morals to abandon her family, no matter how cruel they were, but maybe he should have accepted the truth. Ellen loved that man. She had been the one to choose him over Saibara, with a little bit of help from her father.

Many times after Ellen had rejected him, Saibara had thought of leaving the town. However, the hope that he kept alive in his heart that her husband was a terrible man kept him in Mineral Town, hoping she would approach him again, as she did that first day.

It wasn't until his own wedding that Saibara had been forced to admit that all of his hopes were futile, and his crazy dreams were lost.

What was left for him in this world? He had kept himself alive all of these years, waking up every morning, wishing that he saw Ellen lying besides him, only to wake up with his own wife, who had died during childbirth, or alone.

After his life-shattering rejection, Saibara had stopped caring about the outside world. What was left for him anyways? He had become cold and fierce, and though the Mineral Town residents never asked why, he had to wonder if they somehow knew.

He had never known that one woman could have so much power. Saibara could have never imagined that Ellen would be the one to destroy all of the happiness within him. Happiness was one emotion that would never return to his cold, hardened soul.

Saibara left the Inn quietly, and he walked outside into the rain. His clothes had nearly dried in during his short stay in the Inn, but the rain had picked up now.

The heavens were crying for his loss, but it was too late to do anything about it now.

There was no Goddess, and there was no hope. If either of those had ever existed, they had turned a blind eye to the old man in the road. He had sacrificed nearly everything for Ellen, and when she turned coldly away, there was nothing left for him. The expression, "Love will conquer all" was another lie, made up to sell cutesy romance novels to lovesick girls. There was no truth behind the expression, and there was no truth in those novels where everyone ended up happy.

_Everyone loves happy endings…_

_So where is mine?_


End file.
